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The Second Year: Language Development
Early in the second year, your toddler will suddenly seem to understand everything you say. You'll announce lunchtime and he'll be waiting by his highchair. You'll tell him you've lost your shoe and he'll find it. At first, his rapid response may seem a little unusual. Did he really understand, or is this just a dream? Rest assured, it's not your imagination. He's developing his language and comprehension skills right on schedule.
This giant developmental leap probably will alter the way you now talk to him and converse with others when he's around. For example, you may edit conversations held within his earshot, perhaps spelling out words you'd rather he didn't understand (as in, "Should we stop for I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M?"). At the same time, you'll probably feel more enthusiastic about talking to him because he's so responsive.
You may find yourself using less baby talk, no longer needing high-pitched singsong monologues to get his attention. Instead, try speaking slowly and clearly, using simple words and short sentences. Teach him the correct names of objects and body parts, and stop using cute substitutes, such as "piggies" when you really mean "toes." By providing a good language model, you'll help him learn to talk with a minimum of confusion.
Most toddlers master at least 50 spoken words by the end of the second year and can talk in short sentences, although there are differences among children. Even with normal hearing and intelligence, some don't talk much during the second year. Also, boys generally develop language skills more slowly than girls. Whenever your own child begins to speak, his first few words probably will include the names of familiar people, his favorite possessions and parts of his body. You may be the only person who understands these early words because he'll omit or change certain sounds. For example, he might get the first consonant (b,d,t) and vowel (a,e,i,o,u) sounds right but drop the end of the word. Or he may substitute sounds he can pronounce, like d or b, for more difficult ones.
You'll learn to understand what he's saying over time and with the help of his gestures. By all means don't ridicule his language mistakes. Give him as much time as he needs to finish what he wants to say without hurrying, and then answer with a correct pronunciation of the word ("That's right, it's a ball!"). If you're patient and responsive, his pronunciation will gradually improve.
By midyear, he'll use a few active verbs, such as "go" and "jump," and words of direction, such as "up," "down," "in" and "out." By his second birthday, he'll have mastered the words "me" and "you" and use them all the time.
At first, he'll make his own version of a whole sentence by combining a single word with a gesture or grunt. He might point and say "ball," his way of telling you he wants you to roll him the ball. Or he might shape a question by saying "Out?" or "Up?," raising his voice at the end. Soon he'll begin to combine verbs or prepositions with nouns to make statements, such as "Ball up" or "Drink milk," and questions, such as "What that?" By the end of the year, or soon thereafter, he'll begin to use two-word sentences.
Age 2 to 3 Years: Language Development
Your 2-year-old not only understands most of what you say to her but also speaks with a rapidly growing vocabulary of 50 or more words. Over the course of this year, she'll graduate from two- or three-word sentences ("Drink juice," "Mommy want cookie") to those with four, five or even six words ("Where's the ball, Daddy?" or "Dolly sit in my lap"). She's also beginning to use pronouns (I, you, me, we, they) and understands the concept of "mine" ("I want my cup," "I see my mommy"). Pay attention to how she is using language to describe ideas and information, and to express her physical or emotional needs and desires.
It's human nature to measure your toddler's verbal abilities against those of other children her age, but try to avoid this. There's more variation at this time in language development than in any other area. While some preschoolers develop language skills at a steady rate, others seem to master words in an uneven manner. And some children are naturally more talkative than others. This doesn't mean that the more verbal children are necessarily smarter or more advanced than the quieter ones, nor does it mean that they have richer vocabularies. In fact, the quiet child may know just as many words but be choosier about speaking them. As a general rule, boys start talking later than girls, but this variation, like most others mentioned above, tends to even out as children reach school age.
Without any formal instruction, just by listening and practicing, your child will master many of the basic rules of grammar by the time she enters school. You can help enrich her vocabulary and language skills by making reading a part of your everyday routine. At this age, she can follow a story line and will understand and remember many ideas and pieces of information presented in books. Even so, because she may have a hard time sitting still for too long, the books you read to her should be short. To keep her attention, choose activity-oriented books that encourage her to touch, point and name objects or to repeat certain phrases. Toward the end of this year, as her language skills become more advanced, she'll also have fun with poems, puns or jokes that play with language by repeating funny sounds or using nonsense phrases.
For some youngsters, however, the language-development process does not run smoothly. In fact, about one in every 10 to 15 children has trouble with language comprehension and/or speech. For some, the problem is caused by hearing difficulty, low intelligence or lack of verbal stimulation at home. In most cases, though, the cause is unknown. If your pediatrician suspects your child has difficulty with language, she'll conduct a thorough physical exam and hearing test and, if necessary, refer you to a speech/language or early-childhood specialist for further evaluation. Early detection and identification of language delay or hearing impairment is critically important so that treatment can begin before the problem interferes with learning in other areas. Without identifying the difficulty and doing something about it, the child may have continuous trouble with classroom learning.
3 to 4 Years: Language Development
At 3, your child should have an active vocabulary of 300 or more words. He'll be able to talk in sentences of five or six words and imitate most adult speech sounds. At times, he'll seem to be chattering constantly, a phenomenon that may sometimes disturb you but which is essential to his learning of new words and gaining experience in using and thinking with them. Language allows him to express his thoughts, and the more advanced he is in speaking and understanding words, the more tools he'll have for thinking, creating and telling you about it.
At this age, your child's speech should be clear enough that even strangers can understand most of what he says. Even so, he still may mispronounce as many as half the speech sounds he uses. For example, he may use w for r ("wabbit," "wice," "wose"), d for th ("dis," "dat," "den"), or t for any sounds he has trouble with ("tee" for three, "tik" for six). The sounds b, p, m, w and h will only begin to emerge midway through this year, and it may take months after that for him to perfect his use of them.
Expanding Vocabulary
You should be able to see how your child uses language to help him understand and participate in the things going on around him. For instance, he can name most familiar objects, and he'll freely ask "What's this?" when he can't call something by name. You can help him expand his vocabulary by providing additional words that he might not even request. For example, if he points to a car and says, "Big car," you might answer, "Yes, that's a big gray car. Look how shiny the surface is." Or if he's helping you pick flowers, describe each one he collects. "That's a beautiful white-and-yellow daisy, and that's a pink geranium."
You also can help him use words to describe things and ideas he can't see. When he's describing the "monster" in his dream, for example, ask him if the monster is angry or friendly. Ask him about the monster's color, where he lives, whether he has friends. Not only will this help your child use words to express his thoughts, but also it may help him overcome his fear of such strange and frightening images.
Explaining Pronouns
Your 3-year-old is still learning to use pronouns, such as "I," "me," "mine" and "you." As simple as these words seem, they're difficult ideas to grasp, because they indicate where his body, possessions or authority ends and someone else's begins. And to complicate matters, the terms change depending on who's talking. Often, he may use his name instead of saying "I" or "me." Or when talking to you, he may say "Mommy" instead of "you." If you try to correct him (for example, by suggesting, "Say 'I would like a cookie' "), you'll only confuse him more, because he'll think you're talking about yourself. Instead, use these pronouns correctly in your own speech. Say "I would like you to come" instead of "Mommy would like you to come." Not only will this help him learn the correct use of these words, but it will help him establish a sense of you as an individual apart from your role as Mommy.
Age 4 to 5 Years: Language Development
At about age 4, your child's Language skills will blossom. She'll now be able to pronounce most of the sounds in the English Language, with the following exceptions: f, v, s and z probably will remain difficult for her until midway through age 5, and she may not fully master sh, l, th and r until age 6 or later.
Your preschooler's vocabulary will have expanded to around 1,500 words by now, and it will grow by another 1,000 or so over the course of this year. She can now tell elaborate stories using relatively complex sentences of up to eight words. And she will tell you not only about things that happen to her and things she wants but also about her dreams and fantasies.
Handling Bossiness and Swear Words
Don't be surprised if some of the words she uses are not ones you want to hear. After all, by now she's learned how powerful words can be, and she'll enthusiastically explore this power, for better and for worse. Thus, if your 4-year-old is like most others, she'll be very bossy at times, perhaps commanding you and your spouse to "stop talking" or her playmates to "come here now." To help counteract this, teach your child how to use "please" and "thank you." But also review the way you and other adults in the family address her and each other. Chances are, she's repeating many of the commands she most often hears.
Your child will probably pick up many swear words at this age. From her point of view, these are the most powerful words of all. She hears adults say them when they are most angry or emotional, and whenever she uses them herself, she gets quite a reaction. The best way to stop this behavior is to be a good role model and make a conscious effort not to use these words, even when you are stressed. In addition, try to minimize your child's using these words without drawing too much attention to them. She probably has no idea what these words really mean; it's just the energy of them that she enjoys
.
Handling Insults
When your child's upset, you may find she'll use words as insults. Of course this is certainly preferable to physical violence, although it can be quite disturbing to you. Remember, though, that when your child uses these words, she's disturbed too. If she says "I hate you!" what she really means is "I am very angry, and I want you to help me sort out my feelings." By getting angry and shouting back at her you'll only make her feel more hurt and confused. Instead, remain calm and tell her you know she doesn't really hate you. Then let her know that it's okay to feel angry, and talk about the events leading up to her outburst. Try giving her the words that will allow her to tell you how she feels.
If the insults she chooses are mild ones, the best response may be a joke. For example, let's presume she calls you a "wicked witch," you might laugh and respond, "And I'm just boiling up a pot of bat's wings and frog's eyes. Care to join me for supper?" This kind of humor is an excellent way to take the edge off her anger as well as your own.
Of course, sometimes your preschooler doesn't have to say anything offensive to try your patience, her constant chatter can do it just as quickly. One solution at these moments is to redirect her verbal energy. For instance, instead of allowing her to chant mindless sound rhymes, teach her some limericks or songs, or take time out to read some poems. This will help her learn to pay more attention to the words she speaks and will boost her appreciation for the written Language as well.
Communication and Your 6- to 12-Year-Old
Why is it important to communicate with a child in this age group?
Communicating with your child, from infancy onward, is one of the most pleasurable and rewarding experiences for both parent and child. Children are avid learners at all ages, absorbing information through daily interactions and experiences with other children, adults, and the world.
How can parents communicate with children in this age group?
As children enter their grade-school years they become increasingly independent, spending much of their days outside the home in school and with peers. Talking with your child is essential to bond with her and share ideas, opinions, and information. Here are a few suggestions to aid communication with your child:
Make time during the day or evening to hear about your child's activities; be sure she sees that you are actively interested and listening carefully.
Remember to talk with your child, not at her.
Ask questions that go beyond "yes" or "no" answers to prompt more developed conversation.
Take advantage of "stolen" moments, during car trips or standing in line at the supermarket, to talk with your child.
Provide activities that offer opportunities to improve communication skills, such as attending or engaging in sporting and school events, talking about current events, and reading stories to younger children that are slightly above their competency level.
What is a typical vocabulary/communication pattern for a child in this age group?
As children progress in school, both their comprehension and usage of language will become more sophisticated. Usually, they will understand more vocabulary and concepts than they may express. Children should be able to engage in narrative discourse and share ideas and opinions in clear speech.
What should parents do if they suspect a problem in communication?
Parents need to have ongoing communication with their child's teacher about overall language skills and progress. Children with language comprehension and usage problems are at risk for increased academic difficulties.
If a child has a specific communication difficulty, such as persistent stuttering or a lisp, he should be referred to the school speech-language pathologist (an expert who evaluates and treats speech and language disorders). If this is the case, the parents should routinely communicate with the therapist regarding the therapy goals, language activities that are to be practiced at home, and progress.
If a school suspects a language-based learning disability, comprehensive testing will be necessary. This can include a hearing test, psychoeducational assessment (standardized testing to assess a child's learning style as well as cognitive processes as measured by normative values, such as IQ), and speech-language evaluation.
Typical Communication Problems for This Age Group
Problems in communication skills for children ages 6 to 12 years may include:
Hearing difficulties
Difficulty with attention, following complex/compound directions in the classroom
Difficulty retaining information
Poor vocabulary acquisition
Difficulties with grammar and syntax
Difficulties with organization of expressive language or with narrative discourse
Difficulties with academic achievement, reading, and writing
Unclear speech
Persistent stuttering or a lisp
Voice-quality abnormalities, such as a strained, hoarse quality (may require a medical examination by an otolaryngologist [an ear, nose and throat specialist])
These communication problems can be helped by medical professionals, such as speech pathologists, therapists or your child's doctor.
Communication and Your 13- to 18-Year-Old
Why is it important to communicate with a child in this age group?
During this period, teens spend much of their days outside the home - at school or at after-school activities and with peers. Parents need to take time every day to talk with teens to share opinions, ideas and information.
How can parents communicate with a child in this group?
As children enter their high school years they become increasingly independent, spending much of their days outside the home. Here are a few tips to help you communicate with your child:
Make time during the day or evening to hear about your child's activities; be sure that she sees you are actively interested and listening carefully.
Remember to talk with your child, not at her.
Ask questions that go beyond "yes" or "no" answers to prompt more developed conversation.
Take advantage of "stolen" moments, during car trips or standing in line at the supermarket to talk with your child.
Provide activities that offer opportunities to improve communication skills, such as attending or engaging in sporting and school events, playing table top games, talking about current events, and reading to younger children above their competency level.
What is a typical vocabulary/communication pattern for a child in this age group?
Adolescents essentially communicate in an adult manner, with increasing maturity throughout high school. Teens comprehend abstract language, such as idioms, figurative language and metaphors. Explanations may become more figurative and less literal. Literacy and its relationship to cognition, linguistic competency, reading, writing and listening are the primary focus in this age group. Teens should be able to process texts and abstract meaning, relate word meanings and contexts, understand punctuation, and form complex syntactic structures.
What should parents do if they suspect a problem in communication?
Parents need to have ongoing communication with their child's teacher about overall language skills and progress. In some cases, a child may have already been referred to the school speech-language pathologist (an expert who evaluates and treats speech and language disorders). If this is the case, parents should continue to routinely communicate with the therapist about goals, language activities that are to be practiced at home and progress.
If a school suspects a language-based learning disability, comprehensive testing will be necessary. This can include a hearing test, psychoeducational assessment (standardized testing to assess a child's learning style as well as cognitive processes as measured by normative values, such as IQ), and speech-language evaluation.
Attendance at parent-teacher conferences is essential to keep abreast of the child's school performance and any issues that may arise. If there is a communication or learning disability that has previously been identified, parents need to continue their ongoing communication with the child's teacher regarding overall skills and progress. At this point, tutoring for specific subjects may be most helpful.
If a child has a specific communication difficulty, such as persistent stuttering, he should be referred to the school speech-language pathologist. If this is the case, the parents should continue to routinely communicate with the therapist regarding the therapy goals, language activities that are to be practiced at home, and progress.
If the school suspects a language-based learning disability, comprehensive testing may be necessary. This may include a hearing test, a psychoeducational assessment and speech-language evaluation.
What are typical communication problems for this age group?
In most cases, language difficulties will have been identified before this time. However, very subtle problems may be reflected in increasing academic troubles.
Speech articulation problems are generally identified and treated well before adolescence. Persistent stuttering and vocal-quality problems such as hoarseness, breathiness or raspiness may require a medical evaluation by an otolaryngologist (an ear, nose and throat specialist).